glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
