Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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