i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
