im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
