This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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