Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
