We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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