watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize