Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
