I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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