So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
