So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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