NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
