Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize