Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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