I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
