And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he shaved USA in his pubs
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
