yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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