im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize