May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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