You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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