just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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