my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
