i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
