So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
