im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
