Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize