So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
