He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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