my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
