I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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