he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
