I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
