just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
