Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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