A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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