marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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