What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
