Already got asked if we're dating
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize