I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
