That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Who died my cat blue again?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
