That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
