If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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