like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
