Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
