Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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