If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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