some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My feet surprised me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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