Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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