so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize