somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
