Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
