I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
