You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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