that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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