Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize