Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
