He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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