I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
