Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
