A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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