I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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