i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
