I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm having to shit out rocks
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