She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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