Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize