i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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